Hey, Wanna Know Why I Haven't Been Blogging? I've Been a Little Busy.

Doing this!

It Has Already Been Established That I Watch a Lot of Baseball in October OR Fun With Links!

Last night, Buck Martinez made a comment about Bobby Abreu, currently playing right field for the Angels paying tribute Abreu's early days as a member of our own Houston Astros, and the values he gleaned from the Astros' great players of the 1996 - 1998 heyday: Jeff Bagwell, Craig Biggio, and... Ricky Gutierrez?

As incomprehensible as it was to me that Martinez would group Gutierrez (career homer total 38! career RBI total 357!) with probable Hall-of-Famers Biggio and Bagwell, I let it slide, because as a rule, MLB color commentators are known for being off-kilter, bad at their jobs, or generally insane. Most of them are former players, and they've sustained enough head injuries in their lives that the actual broadcast journalists who provide play-by-play know enough to blithely ignore the many batshit things the color guys say (see The Exception That Proves the Rule).

However, just moments ago, sideline reporter Mark Fine referenced Buck Martinez's comment, paying specific attention to the Ricky Gutierrez part, and speaking of Gutierrez as though he was one of the true clubhouse leaders of the late 90's Houston Astros.

For those of you who did not follow the team during that time, allow me to state, for the record:

No, he was not. Bags & Bidge were. Ausmus, kinda. Gonzo, maybe. Even crazy-as-all-getout Carl Everett, in his own crazy way (Everett should be an MLB color commentator, now that I think about it). Never Ricky Raccoon.

Now you know the rest of the story you didn't ask for.

All for now.

Yeah, I Know I'm a Crappy Blogger. Step Off.

TBS, what the fuck happened? You've been so good, and then you pull this stunt? The MLB Playoffs are still baseball games, not an episode of Lost. Stop getting fancy with all your camera angles, and zooms, and crooked closeups, and just show us the game.

Also, do the Cardinals have a facial hair police? Because they SHOULD.
Dodgers are going to rock this series.

All for now.

When It Comes Down To It, Who's Really Signing That Contract Anyway?

A whole crapload of interesting stuff happened on Mad Men last night (and as you can see, it's having an effect on my eloquence), but nothing else that happened (and I mean NOTHING, you Peggy-Duck enthusiasts) beats what went down in the penultimate scene of the episode, when...

SPOLIER ALERT! SPOILER ALERT!

... Bert Cooper laid the ever loving *smack* down and played a card he'd been holding onto for three years.

I love TV moments like that. The old coot's not so doddering after all, is he?

His eyes did something I've only seen another actor do once. In the God-awful campery that is The Devil's Advocate, Al Pacino looks at Keanu Reeves' mother and asks her if it's her first time in New York. As he does so, his eyes lean down and lick that poor old woman's soul. Robert Morse showed off the same move tonight, but with his littel pointy beard, it's sure to have tickled extra fierce.

Awesome.

All for now.

Love Among the Ruins

Mad Men's crowning glory is it's innate ability to identify cultural turning points and touchstones and interweave them into the fabric of their story so we can watch their effect on the characters, making their story the story of a generation.

In this week's episode, the series nailed one of the big ones with aplomb - Ann Margaret in Bye, Bye Birdie, and also subtly hinted at things to come. And while most people think of Ann's affect on the boys in 1963, Mad Men directs its focus on Peggy, arguably the show's most interesting character at this point, on the basis of her mystique alone.

The movie version of Bye, Bye Birdie baffles me (compared to the stage show, the movie is an old-fashioned acid trip), but Ann Margaret's appeal is unmistakable, even 46 years later. She can't sing, she's not all that attractive, but as Sal says (to paraphrase), she's got "that." Ann Margaret is the moment, and watching the characters watch her results in the suspension of our disbelief several stories up. It is 1963. In this way, Mad Men is a show about time travel in more ways than a show that's ABOUT time travel.

All for now.

Where Everybody Knows Your Name

The most sublime opening segment to a sitcom episode comes from a late-series episode of Cheers, a perfect bit of character comedy, transcripted here for your pleasure:

A Man enters through the front door.

WOODY: Welcome to Cheers, what can I get you?
MAN: Beer, please.
WOODY pours.
You know, you can't go home again. The old saying's true. Twenty years ago, my job took me to Alaska. This is my first time in Cheers since the 60's, and everything's different.
Points to the stairs leading up to Melville's.
That staircase, you know, it used to go up the other wall... and the floor used to be all ugly green tile. They've even changed the paneling.
WOODY: Where?
MAN: Over there, behind Norm.

All for now.

Seven-Thirty-Seven Down Over ABQ

Okay, I'm gonna try this, and I'm starting with the season finale because if I decide to abandon this project next year, no one is bound to notice.

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

No, "ABQ" did not stun me the way the way last week's "Pheonix" did. "Pheonix" had me talking to the couch pillow while my dogs stared at me like I was a crazy person. "Breakage" saw me pacing the room, shouting at my television. "Negro y Azul" kept me from sleeping that night. "4 Days Out" had me sick to my stomach with anxiety.

"ABQ," as far as season finales go, is one of the best I've ever seen, and yet it's not as good as at least four other episodes from its thirteen episode season. How awesome is that?

I should clarify at this point if it isn't abundantly clear that I am now a full-fledged Breaking Bad fanamaniac. I am totally caught up in the world Vince Gilligan has created. The withdrawls I experience until Season Three premieres at some point in 2010 may be on par with anything Walt can cook up in his RV.

Why on earth has NBC (I'm singling them out because of their dismal failure this year) not picked up the AMC model for TV-making? Find a genius, allow him complete creative control of his series, and let him do what he does. Allow him to hire quality writers / directors / actors who are free from trying to please network censors, and the ratings will come. Breaking Bad, while not the same story as The Big Bang Theory's stunning rise to prominence, has made a significant jump in the ratings between this year and last year on the strength of being THAT GOOD. I know that doesn't necessarily work for all shows, particularly comedies, unfortunately, but maybe NBC would benefit from cutting some of the fat and focusing on becoming a critical darling for a few years. It's a better bet that some of their shows will actually get popular. I know this is unfair to The Office and 30 Rock, which are both awesome, but the general truth about NBC is that it is in real trouble as far as scripted programming is concerned.

Now I'm pretty far off of my original topic, which was to again extol the virtues of Breaking Bad's incredible second season, and to let you know that to avoid completely cutting the show out of my life for nine months, I will gladly come and watch it with any of you, and then talk about it. Or just talk about it after you watch it. Please, folks. I need more people in this club so I can geek out about it.

All for now.

This Sunday's Breaking Bad Finale

If this doesn't get you watching, nothing else will - http://weblogs.newsday.com/entertainment/tv/blog/2009/05/breaking_bad_the_finale.html

I was also reminded today at lunch of an image that has to make the top ten, but I don't know what I would cut out: Walt smashing the hell out of that paper towel dispenser after he gets the update on his cancer.

Just fantastic. I've been thinking about this show all week!

All for now.

Save Walter White

I've mentioned this a few times already on this page, but if you haven't seen "Breaking Bad," you've got to see "Breaking Bad." If you like your shows about crime and drugs and cops and dealers, and refracted views of money and family and the American idea of success, this is your show.

*MILD SPOILER*
In tonight's episode, which is one of the most arresting hours of T.V. I've ever watched, Walter's son launches a fundraising website called "Save Walter White," and it's the most poignant damned thing, because every week it gets clearer and clearer that this man cannot be saved. One of the major themes of The Sopranos when it was on is that people can't change, and AMC's two big shows - this and Mad Men, which is brilliant for a variety of other reasons - pick up that mantle and run with it in a big way. If you couldn't get into Tony Soprano because he wasn't identifiable to you, then Walter is the man with which you need to start spending your Sunday nights.

*LESS MILD SPOILER*
It's a a little premature since the Season 2 finale is next week, but I want to celebrate the show's ability to create moments with a list of my ten favorites from this Season. So, yeah, maybe this will change in seven days, but for now:

10. The cold open with Badger and DJ Qualls
9. Tio and the Burrito
8. Skinny Pete gets robbed by Spooge and the Skank
7. Saul talks his way out of being murdered
6. Hank's Brewery - both scenes
5. Walter, Skyler, and the facial mask
4. Walter shows his baby the money
3. The tortoise explodes
2. Walter confronts the up and coming dealers outside of the home improvement store
1. The last scene with Jane

You let me know if you want to watch this show, and I will watch it with you. Be warned, though - I'll be half watching you to see your reaction.

All for now.

Television and Whatnot

In conversation today, two friends and I observed that even though there doesn't seem to be as much good television as there used to be, what's worth watching is great. Without further ado, here is my list of ten shows you should be watching if you're not. For the most part, I'm not breaking any new ground here, but that doesn't make these recommendations any less significant. Bottom line - give each of these shows at least a three episode trial period, and be prepared to explain to me why you didn't like them.

1o. Krod Mandoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire - saw the pilot episode tonight, and I'm sold. It's a sword and sorcery comedy that hilariously glosses over and misinterprets fantasy fandom the way Hercules and Xena used to. That may make it seem a little behind the times, but don't worry - it's also just funny in a slightly anachronistic, wildly cheap-looking way. Comedy Central, Thursday nights (I think).

9. The Big Bang Theory - aside from being one of the Barenaked Ladies' final projects as a group (they did the opening theme), it's a truly smart, and even though it's a sitcomy as sitcoms get, an uncannily accurate representation of general geekdom. As a side note, Jim Parsons, who plays the aspbergerian Sheldon, is a Klein HS grad and a former member of Infernal Bridegroom. 7 p.m. Mondays, CBS

8. Important Things with Demetri Martin - it's hit or miss, but when it hits, oh mercy. Martin's humor is so smart that some sketches will require repeat viewings. If Sesame Street grew up and became a sketch comedy show, this would probably be pretty close. Comedy Central, Wednesday nights.

7. The Office - do I really have to get into this one? If you're familiar with it, but haven't watched in a while, you really do need to catch up. Several character paradigms are about to shift dramatically. NBC, Thursday nights.

6. 30 Rock - And while you're enjoying The Office, give Liz Lemon and the gang some love. This show is entirely too classy for its' own good, and owes a huge debt of gratitude to the fate of Arrested Development for NBC having the balls to keep it on the air. Watch it! NBC, Thursday nights.

5. Breaking Bad - If you haven't seen this show yet, be prepared. It will take over. It's already climbing in the ratings, and I'm expecting it to have Sopranos-style juggernautitude (yes, I just made that up!) by the time the third season comes around. How do I know? It's already been picked up, fools! AMC, Sunday nights.

4. John Adams - it's a miniseries, and it's over. I don't care. Go out and rent it if you don't want to buy it sight unseen. You will skip lunches for two weeks to save up and get it. Every moment of it is monumentally important and serves as a crucial reminder of the kind of people who made this country. HBO, run finished - available at all DVD outlets.

3. Kings - Ian McShane. You want to hear a man talk, you can't find a better hour and place to listen. NBC, Saturday night death slot.

2. How I Met Your Mother - I have such a hard time selling people on this one, and I can't understand why. Yes, it's a traditional three-camera sitcom with a laugh track, but no laugh in there is sweetened or cheap. Plus, it provides a dynamite five-person ensemble: Josh Radnor, Alyson Hannigan, Jason Segel, Cobie Smulders, and Neil Patrick Harris, an impeccable sense of continuity (even better than The Office in this regard), and many, many quotable, memorable moments, often associated with one Barney - wait for it - Stinson. This show is firmly ensconced, does well in the ratings, and will finish on it's own terms - but that doesn't mean you should put it off until it's over. CBS, Monday nights.

1. Mad Men - what can I say that hasn't already been said? One of my favorite plays is Night and Her Stars, a Richard Greenberg piece about the quiz show scandal of the 1950's. The language is gorgeous - no one writes like Greenberg... except these guys. Watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2bLNkCqpuY

thank me later, and watch Mad Men. They're replaying the 2nd season right now, and the 3rd season kicks off this summer.

All for now.

Scheduled Spring Training Television Broadcasts

Obviously, you'll need FOX Sports Houston in order to view these games.

Thursday, February 26, 12:05 p.m., @ ATL (ESPN)

Friday, March 20, 12:05 p.m. vs. CIN

Monday, March 23, 12:05 p.m. vs. FLA

Tuesday, March 24, 12:05 p.m. vs. NYM

Wednesday, March 25, 12:05 p.m. @ STL

Tuesday, March 31, 6:05 p.m. vs. ATL

Saturday, April 4, 1:05 p.m. vs. CLE (at Minute Maid Park)

Otherwise, you can catch games on the radio, usually on 790 AM. Most games are day games - 12:05 p.m., but it's all subject to change. For a complete schedule, go here: http://houston.astros.mlb.com/schedule/index.jsp?c_id=hou&m=2&y=2009

If you're listening on your computer, you can get the entire MLB radio package for $15 / year, which is a tremendous bargain.

Let 2009 begin!

Today's Posting is About My Wife

Yesterday, I did something serendipitous. I wrote two blogs, one about the NBC sitcom The Office, and the second about the (recently) defunct www.firejoemorgan.com. Well, curious gentleman I am, particularly when it comes to mourning, I decided to digest everything I could about FJM, it's history, etc, and that inevitably led me to

BARNEY STINSON: Wait for it...

Wikipedia: the online encyclopedia anyone can edit. And, according to Wikipedia: The Online Encyclopedia Anyone Can Edit, the primary poster at www.firejoemorgan.com is none other than Michael Schur, a writer for The Office and the guy who plays Dwight's cousin Mose, under the guise of Fremulon Insurance employee Ken Tremendous. Did I know this yesterday? I did not. It's just one of the many wonderful things you can learn on WIKIPEDIA: THE ONLINE ENCYCLOPEDIA ANYONE CAN EDIT.

Seriously, yo. They've got street cred, quality control, and all that business now. Not like the time they told me Billy Dee Williams had died (still haven't lived that one down completely).

In closing, I would like to address the title of this post. Psyche. Hope you read the whole thing, sweetie.

All for now.

Regarding Tonight's Episode of "The Office"

When are they going to introduce the new HR rep? I have the feeling, as is the way with sitcoms, that Toby will eventually come back, but it seems weird to have gone two weeks without even a mention of it.



All for now.

Ever See a Man Say Goodbye to a Pair of Shoes Before?

Short blog tonight, as I am wiped from conferencing all day (which takes a staminia similar to forensics tournaments), but I wanted to take a moment to comment on the title of my last post in contrast with its' subject matter.

I don't necessarily believe that post titles and the subject of the post have to have anything to do with each other, but I usually try to create a loose connection, at least. I almost always try to make my title a quotation.

Of those quotations, the first eight seasons of The Simpsons will almost lead the pack when it comes to where I choose those quotes. Those episodes were first run during age 10 - 18 for me, a time when I rarely missed an episode. I've moved on since then, but the memories of those shows endure, and those seasons (particularly 3 - 7) hold up very well.

As such, here is a list of Simpsons quotation blog titles I will use in the future and their likely subjects:

1. "We Like Roy" - to be used the next time I (inevitably) gush about Roy Oswalt.

2. "I Can't Let That Happen, I Won't Let That Happen, and I Can't Let That Happen" - probably will be about me realizing it is my destiny to kill someone for the good of humanity, though not in a John Wilkes Booth way, and more in a man in white from The Stand sort of way.

3. "Moldy? Old? I'm Going to Get Something to Eat!" - could be any number of possibilities, but will likely concern my dogs' dietary habits.

4. "I'm Cold and There Are Wolves After Me" - For the next time my wife goes out of town on a business trip, leaving me alone with the dogs.

Wait, what's that, you say? You didn't know I had a wife? Well, let me shed some light on the subject. I have been married to a wonderful woman for almost two years now. She hates that I don't write about her on this blog, but what she doesn't understand is that I rarely write about things that are part of my everyday life; I'm much more event-based. More often than not, I write about things I need to get off my chest, and my wife is such a steady constant in my life (and I'm not a big believer in pda) that I honestly never think to write that much about her (though I have in the past on my old blog and will again, trust me, because something is bound to happen that I need to write about). Anyway, if you see someone writing "You Suck!" anonymously on this blog, chances are I'm sleeping with her.

5. "I Think He Should Have to Take a Different Oath!" - this title will be attached to a blog about something political that I find unfair.

6. "Itchy's a Jerk" - reserved for a post wherein I discuss my confusion at the appeal of a film start of some sort.

7. "It's a Big Country" - For when it comes to my father and smoking.

8. "Bake 'em Away, Toys" - for a blog that questions law enforcement and their overzealousness.

9. "Okay, Econosave, You Just Made the List!" - when a product makes me mad (and you know it will).

10. "Bees Are on the What Now?" - Many things confuse me. Any one of them could find themselves at the mercy of this title.

So, did I say short blog? I meant regular sized blog. Must eat and rest now. Let me know if you have any quotations you want me to use as a blog title.

This is Going to Screw Up J.D. Drew's Legacy

...of being largely undependable in games of baseball.

Maddon's manaagement of the bullpen towards the end of this game was somewhat incomprehensible, if you ask me. Maybe they really wanted to win this series at home, I don't know. For all I know, TBS is doing it all with digital technology.

All for now.