Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Only Most of This Post is About Baseball

First, a follow-up to MMMMMMMMMMM-eme!: perhaps unsurprisingly, none of the six random people I tagged for passing along the meme chose to honor their calling...

(wait, did he say "...?" He did!)


Turns out Mimi on the Breach was tagged by someone else and did a slightly bastardized version of the meme. However, since my request clearly came first, I am claiming sole credit for Mimi's continuance of the meme. Anyone who cares to argue the point with me can go to the special hell that Shepherd Book says is reserved for child molestors and people who talk at the theatre.

Glad that's over. Now we can talk about


I'm not sure if it was always this way, but MLB's Most Valuable Player Awards have become so obfuscated by the bickering between sportswriters over the meaning of the term that for the last two years, one of their choices have been inexplicable. (See Jimmy Rollins, 2007)

Now, I won't even begin to get into what "valuable" means, and how comparing NL Winner Albert Pujols to AL Winner Dustin Pedroia would be pointless and stupid. Alls I'm sayin' is that everyone's going to get awful squeamish when Pujols eats Pedroia in a single gulp when the two get together to accept their awards, presumably at either The White House or Disneyworld.

Pujols (damn it, here I go) is an unkillable, unstoppable baseball monster, while Pedroia is a average-below average height, affable-looking sort of guy who is remarkable for his ability to play baseball in today's world of atomic supermen. Regardless, when David Ortiz occasionally (albeit mistakenly) uses you for a bat, it says something about a normal human's place in professional competitive sports these days.

Dustin Pedroia would be a remarkable candidate for the Most Valuable Human Playing Baseball award, since his main competition is David Eckstein and Grady Sizemore (and I still probably would've voted for Grady), but replace Human Playing Baseball with the more ambiguous "player" monniker, and now all of those man-giants who play baseball because the mythological evils of yore have either gone into hiding or been vanquished now qualify for the award. It's like giving Iolaus the MVP because he fought the Hydra alongside Heracles and he didn't die.

Dustin Pedroia should get a species of butterfly named after him.

All for now.


Jack Tomas said...

personaly I'd like to see Pujols an Ortiz battle their father George Herman "Babe" Ruth who used to eat them. Then they'd lock him in a pit in the center of the Earth. Then David Ortiz should shave that stupid beard off.
Also Mike Musina is retiring. I will miss hearing "Moooooooossssseeeee, fuckin' Moooooooooosssssseeeee" when at Yankees games.

Anonymous said...

You Suck!