Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Goatee Powder? But I Sold My Goatee to Buy You Face Whitener!

There are plenty of reasons for you, my fellow Houstonians, to watch this year's World Series, namely Eric Bruntlett, Ben Zobrist, Scott Kazmir, Carl Crawford, Gerry Hunsicker, and Dan Wheeeler & Brad Lidge's reunion, which, as I have noted above, needs to be punctuated with an O. Henry twist.

That said, I'm about Philly-ed out. Both Tim McCarver and Joe Morgan, the heads and tails of the idiocy coin, refuse to stop extolling the virtues of Ryan Howard as MVP in 2008. Let's put aside for a moment that Howard is only the second most awesome Ryan Howard in his own state. It cannot be ignored that he was absolutely wretched for a good 1/4 of this season. MVP? Not even of his own team.

No, the 2008 MVP in the NL belongs to (and I can't believe I'm saying this again) Albert Pujols, the one and only unkillable baseball monster, who ranks near the top in every significant statistical category (Howard leads in home runs and RBI's, but is awful just about everywhere else). If you removed Pujols from the Cardinals lineup, they would have gone 2 - 160 this year. Remove Howard? You might get better defense out of the gaping hole at 1st base.

Howard won the MVP, more deservedly, in 2006, and his teammate Jimmy Rollins won, somewhat inexplicably, last year. Rollins winning the MVP award is like giving Godzilla 2nd place in a Godzilla look-alike contest and awarding 1st prize to Anne Murray; that is to say, you're pretty close, but for the love of Mike, Godzilla was in the running.


Were you in the rain last tonight? If so, this was one of the top ten scariest nights of my life. I was never more sure that I was going to lose my car to high water. I started sweet talking it like it was my dog. My thanks to the strangers on the balcony, Aaron, and John Malkovich for spending the evening out on the street with me while we waited for the street flooding to go down.

All for now.

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